The Video 98 Collection Part 4: Nukie (1988)

Considering the cult followings of bad horror, action and sci-fi movies, I always wondered why there wasn't as much attention on bad kid's movies. Sure, certain classics get acknowledged like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, but what about the thousands of other kids movies, ALL decades that break the boundaries of crappiness. I always felt that kids movies offered a certain naive charm and raw imagination that that you won't find from other genres of "bad movies". The 80's seem to be a time where terrible children's movies were being made left and right to compete with all of the amazing family films coming out. There was a huge market for that stuff, cheap knock-offs of Dark Crystal and the Never Ending Story were a'plenty. I particularly love (just about) anything put out by Moon Beam, Full Moon's line of "family films". They're great because you get the people who make the Puppet Master puppets and Robot Jox creating cute dragons and tiny dinosaurs. For the record, Nukie is NOT a Moon Beam film. I'm almost off subject here. This is more along the lines of E.T. in Africa. Nukie is a wretched, forgotten piece of crap that I'm happy to have finally seen it.

Two space brothers find themselves in the earth's stratosphere and get split up (somehow) one winding up in Florida and the other in Africa. In the states "Miko" has been captured and is having experiments done on him by the government. In Africa, poor little retarded Nukie is wandering around aimlessly talking to giraffes. The first half of this movie is primarily watching Miko be tortured and having to listen to these two scream eachother's name on a loop for 15 minute intervals. It's like they forgot to write dialogue for those scenes so they just improvised in post production.


There are a bunch of pointless characters that really aren't even worth mentioning.There was ZERO character development and I wouldn't even know how to go about describing their parts, because none of them really mattered at all. There was an unnecessary Nun played by Glynis Johns who was token washed up celebrity. She was never even in the same shot as Nukie.

Nukie always seems to have really nasty sinus issues.

There's also a sensitive computer named E.D.D.I. who helps Miko find his way back to Nukie.

I couldn't have said it better myself, E.D.D.I.

Well, this is turning out to be a bad review for a bad movie. Now I can cross it off of my list. Seriously. It was actually on my list!...


I'm not sure why I used this as an example of kids movies that should have followings. It's an atrocity! Probably because for some reason I had really been wanting to see it! It's about as good as Badi, the Turkish ET. I think I'm going to take a little break from my Video 98 marathon for a day or two. I need something really good to wash the "nukie" out of my mouth.

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