Mini Reviews: 7 Lucky Ninja Kids, The Godfarter 3, Goddess Bunny Channels Shakespeare, Pink Narcissus

I'm trying to watch 365/365 this year. I was way behind schedule for about a month and a half when I was transitioning between jobs. Now that things have leveled out I've made it a personal goal to catch back up. That means watching on average two movies a day, and I'm almost all caught up. When I started I was around 50 movies behind, now I only have 7 to go! Some days when I'm in the right mood and have nothing else going on I can marathon 4 or 5 movies which has helped me catch up alot. I'm kind of just rambling here but my point is, I'm watching a lot of movies in rapid succession.

You may have noticed that I added some categories to the side panel. I'd like to keep adding them as they develop. I put Mini Reviews at the top because I've already written so many short bulk reviews. They're kind of like rant-y movie journal entries, which is fun for me. Also, it's impossible to review ALL of the movies I watch. Maybe some writers could do it but it takes me too long just to crank out one. At least with mini-reviews I can mention a few other goodies that I didn't have the time or the mindspace to write full reviews for.

One recent treat I had the pleasure of seeing was 7 Lucky Ninja Kids. A Taiwanese all-kid kung-fu comedy from 1986. A friend had recommended it to me a while back, so when I saw it at the video store with the tagline "Awesome Skateboard Riding, Pizza Eating Group of Mini Ninjas!" - I knew it had to be mine. It seemed to be set in a world where it was ok for adults to punch kids in the face. The 7 kids are apart of some kind of ass kicking brigade and there's not a parent in sight. They get mixed up a diamond heist which leads to lots of Home Alone-esque kid vs. robber action. There's tons of copyright infringement going on with the soundtrack too. Amidst the flying kicks you'll catch snippets of pop songs and film scores. I definitely heard John Carpenter's Halloween theme a few times awkwardly placed in a fight scene. It reminded me a little of Sammo Hung's "My Lucky Stars" only with kids and less small-dick jokes. It was a lot of fun though I must say, the only real disappointment was the lack of skateboard riding or pizza eating. That was completely misleading.

I discovered a bizarre little short film called The Godfarter 3 which was actually a homemade SOV screen test for gonzo actor Timothy Carey in attempt to get cast in the Godfather part III. Despite his respectable career featuring roles in the Wild One, Paths of Glory and the Killing of a Chinese Bookie, he's perhaps best known for his magnum opus, which he wrote directed and starred in, the World's Greatest Sinner. It could also be accurately described as the world's greatest vanity piece! With its absurd plot and his unusual acting style it's truly an inspired cult masterpiece. The Godfarter 3 on the other hand is a train wreck. If you're blinded by Carey fangirlism like me, you'll get a kick out just seeing him deliver stagnant lines over blaring opera music and making terrifying faces into the camera. The film itself is only 7 minutes long but afterwards there's an additional 15 minutes or so of interview footage which was far more entertaining. Apparently Francis Ford Coppola wanted him for the first two Godfather's but he turned it down saying he'd only be doing it for the money. So in turn he requested an enormous amount if he were to actually accept the role (make sense? not really). Coppola was no longer interested. One of the most infamous Carey stories is that during on the of the readings he pulled a gun out of a lunch box and shot both Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese with blanks. He was promptly escorted off of the property.

Another bit of outsider cinema I had the pleasure of experiencing was "The Goddess Bunny Channels Shakespeare". I found it on VHS at Poo-Bah records inside the box for ANOTHER Goddess Bunny movie called "The Ma Barker Story" (which appears to be autographed though I can't make out the name). I was disappointed that it wasn't the right movie but since it was still Goddess Bunny, I got over it quick. If you're unfamiliar with Goddess Bunny do yourself a favor and youtube her. She was a famous drag queen from the 80's/90's who had suffered from Polio as a child which made her spine underdeveloped. Her performances are quite a spectacle. When I saw her most famous video simply titled "The Goddess Bunny" years ago, it wasn't something I would soon (or ever) forget. Stumbling upon what appears to be a legitimate independent release of one of her films is pretty much the find of a century. It's mostly her, and some fellow performers/friends drunkenly reciting Shakespeare (and then some other play which I'm pretty sure is not Shakespeare). Much like the Godfarter 3, it's an odd character study that would probably only be enjoyed by big fans or a glutton for punishment. You've been warned.

I finally saw the candy colored phallus in wonderland , Pink Narcissus. Some serious queer arthouse action. A vast rainbow of pearls, chiffon and boners. Stylistically reminiscent of Kenneth Anger's work (though much more Homo-erotic, as I recall Anger's work being a bit more subtle), it's basically an extended sexual fantasy of one man dreaming of an arabesque garden of other perfectly endowed men. Clocking in at 71 one minutes, I felt it could have been a little shorter. With no real narrative, just high octane sexually driven visuals after about 45 minutes you're kind of ready for the end. As it is, I'm ready for this review to end.

That's it for today kids. Until next time...

Roseland - 1971

Fredric Hobbs is one of those cult filmmakers who you either get it or you don't. His movies may appear to be just a few of the thousands of low budget genre films being cranked out in the 70's, upon closer inspection you'll find a whole world of mutant sheep, mystic ganja, ghost magicians, frankenstein vampires, mind control, race relations, voodoo, naked hippies, weirdly sculptural cars, a black Hieronymus Bosch and quirky sexual peccadilloes. I'm a little obsessed with him and I'm so happy to finally be able to review the last of his three accessible films, Roseland.

By far Hobbs' most sexually driven story. It follows a man named Adam (played by Hobbs alumni E. Kerrigan Prescott) who's become obsessed with voyeurism after studying the painting The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch. He's unable to perform sexually so he steals porno reels and becomes a bonafide peeping tom. His obsession has ruined his career as a singer so he now spends hours in a therapist's chair trying to come to terms with his problems. Roseland, like all of Hobbs films, takes many creative liberties. Adam's hypno-therapy puts him in a deep state of sleep where we see an expressive nudist hippie dream sequence in slow motion. Extended even more with Adam and a particular girl rolling around naked in a filtered softcore love scene. Not the most interesting part of the film, but relevant. There's also the infamously amazing song and dance flashback where Adam and his band perform "You Cannot Fart Around with Love", which is one of the more endearing moments in the film. I like when it becomes clear that although an experimental filmmaker, Hobbs isn't taking himself TOO seriously.

Watch PLEASE.

Our hero Adam, also know as the Black Bandit for his porn thievery, gets a job in the box office of a burlesque theater where we get to see a very raunchy strip-tease from a lady performer and and even more entertaining strip-tease by Adam himself where he's shimmies down to nothing but a pair of lacy panties. He's inevitably hauled off to a metal institution where he seduces nurses which I suppose would mean he's cured of his little problem, thought it's never directly addressed. A black Hieronymus Bosch appears (played by Christopher Brooks, another Hobbs alumni) and begins explaining everything to Adam in a very poetic, somewhat irrational Hobbsian way. Simply put, the reason Adam was so drawn to the Garden of Earthly Delights is because it is Adam's future. Adam is intended to be ADAM (of Adam and Eve fame) after the impending apocalypse which is sure to happen because of how shitty we treat our planet. Gotta love the eco-political undertones. We're then propelled into the future where the evil therapist is flying overhead in a plane spraying some kind of poisoned gas into the air where Adam's nudist hippie fantasy was taking place, only this time it's real? Everyone dies except Adam and his fantasy Eve (the girl he was rolling around with) who float away on a giant phallic rose, making love, probably repopulating the human race.

Hobbs films appeal to a very small audience. Look up reviews for any of these. Roseland, Godmonster of Indian Flats or Alabama's Ghost (you can find my reviews for the other films HERE and HERE, and mentioned in my review for Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! is a conversation I had with his editor Richard Brummer). His style doesn't jive with a lot of people's taste.  He's definitely trying to convey a message with these films and being that they are also b-movies, that can be difficult to get across to an audience. You really have to have a strong appreciation for both low budget and outsider cinema to dig Hobbs' work. The ability to suspend disbelief doesn't hurt either. The political aspects of his films haven't moved me much, most likely from such a huge generational gap. The strong imagery and artistic stylings hold it all together in a way I can only loosely compare to the work of Russ Meyer and Andy Milligan. I enjoy seeing the same cast return for each film as well. I mentioned in my review for Alabama's Ghost that E. Kerrigan Scott was a personal favorite of mine. Roseland has secured a place in my heart for that guy. I just love seeing his bearded face, and you can tell her really loved making these movies. 

He would have to love making these movies to let Hobbs put a rose in his anus.

I'm not sure where I would rank Roseland in correlation with the other two Hobbs films I've seen. As a general rule I tire of sex scenes quickly.  Roseland is a little different. It FEELS different and the gonzoid plot kept me completely captivated. They're all so unique, atmospheric and wonderful. I know this will probably be the last Fredric Hobbs review I do for a while, if ever again. His remaining films are near impossible to locate. I'm currently trying to track down a copy of his film Troika from 1969. I've spoken to a few people who have seen it so I know there are copies floating around out there somewhere*, hopefully one day I'll be able to experience it myself. I have little hope for ever finding his first film "Trojan Horse" (1967), a documentary on the creation of one of his parade sculptures. His website also cites a final film from 1978 called "The Richest Place on Earth", which I had previously read was a book he co-wrote and illustrated. Not sure if that's misinformation or if he actually made a film based on the book. 

I wish there was a bigger following for Fredric Hobbs. His films and artwork deserve more exposure. I'm just happy to have experienced these three wonderful films that have become pivotal pieces in my huge cannon of movies I'm obsessed with. Something Weird no longer carries Roseland so if you're lucky enough to find a copy, give it a spin and let me know what you think.

*If anyone knows where I can find a copy of  Troika, I will make it worth your while.

Dandy Dust -1998

Attempting to find or follow any kind of coherent narrative in Dandy Dust is futile. There's a loose interpretation of a story-like thing involving a cyborg, lesbian clones, memory loss, sex spiders, drill dicks and space travel. Despite mostly having no clue what was going on, I would be remiss not to at least mention these plot points in passing. Instead of  pretending to know what I'm talking about I'll move on to the real star of the film: The highly saturated experimental special effects. At the end of the day that's where 98% of my attention was drawn. Me and probably any human-like person subjecting themself to this fluorescent celluloid orgy. From a certain character having a lighter flame for a head or the vagina-torso'd (I think I just created a word there) spider was aptly named "Spidercuntboy" - these were all passing fragments I can but feebly piece together in this neoplasmic assault of the senses.

Using all kinds of extremely effective low budget techniques, Dandy Dust took 5 1/2 years for director A. Hans Scheirl, to finish. Being completed just two years before the 21st century, Dandy Dust just may be the quintessential cyber punk opus. It covers so much ground while still being utterly ridiculous and visually stunning in a cut and paste black light and cardboard kind of way. You can really see the care that went into making this hyper-sexualized gender bending sci-fi expression of pure pandemonium. Every detail of every black light heavy set piece, neon paper mache costume, electric potato starch slime, every barrage edit and stop animation clip, 16 mm projection, every dazzling shadow every video toaster manipulated effect was placed haphazardly and doused in magical unicorn jizzim to seal it with a cosmic kiss from Kenneth Anger and Rinse Dream to make a rich tapestry of vulgarity and psychedelia.

This review is running a little shorter (and ramble-y) than most. Not because I didn't love the film but because it's in many ways greater than words. It fits into a very exclusive type of films I fucking love that I very rarely get to see. My default case-in-point has always been, Rinse (Stephen Sayadian) Dream's Dr Caligari. Which looks like a Tennessee Williams play compared to this distorted kaleidoscopic hullabaloo. Other notable films that remind me of/ have similar characteristics would be Liquid Sky, Pink Narcissus, Carmelo Bene's Salome, Superstarlet A.D., Geek Maggot Bingo and this amazing Max Headroom-ish  movie from 1989 called "Split" that no one ever talks about for some reason. There are also moments reminiscent of the Kuchar Brothers and more recently Craig Baldwin. Not to name drop too much but I couldn't help while watching the film but find myself in waves of prismatic nostalgia.

After the movie ended I had to take a few days off of all activities requiring use of my brain. After slipping into a pornoplastic diabetic booger coma, I awoke with a new sense of being and a revelation that this is the kind of movie I should be watching all day every day, or at least spend a good portion of my life seeking out films such as this that can make my frontal lobe quiver with candy colored wonderment.

Child of Peach - 1984/1987

As you may know, I have a particular fondness for foreign, weird, archaic or just plain horrible kids movies. Despite having seen lots of other Asian fantasy flicks, but I realized that Taiwanese films, at least as far as family films are concerned, are relatively new to me. So I was more than up for the challenge. My  introduction to the world of Peach Kid was by stumbling upon a clip from the second film on youtube while doing some cultural mining. I plan to review that film later, but if you'd like to see the clip, click HERE, it's only 34 seconds and will make you a believer.

So I sought it out (plus the sequel) and let it collect dust for a few months, as I do, before finally feeling the need to engage in some cute Taiwanese kung-fu fantasy peach loving weirdness. Thankfully my copy had subs, but they were very soft and bleeding through the image at times so much squinting was involved. The story begins with a family living in an enchanted (or is it radioactive?) garden. A man and woman along with  their baby, protect a mystic sword and are aided by three anthropomorphic animal children. One, a "cock" (or just "bird" if you prefer, which in this case I do as it is not a term I find easy to use in reference to a kid running around in a feather suit), another, a dog and the last, a monkey. These animal children can shape shift at will and despite their petite childlike frames, are little magical fighting machines. One day a villainous tokusatsu looking bad guy named "King Devil" comes along to steal the mystic sword. A fight ensues, the animal children are blasted out of frame and the man protecting the sword, the garden and it's inhabitants is killed. His wife is struck by some kind of laser beam as well and I can only assume she eventually dies too because, the last we see of her is placing her baby inside a giant peach (who without hesitation sends it's pit flying to make room) and instructs a magical little fairy (who decided to pop in unexpected) to make sure the peach takes good care of her baby. End scene.

The giant peach, which can fly by the way takes the baby far away until it finally encounters an elderly childless couple. Though at first the peach is off put by the couple since, naturally, they try to eat it. An extended chase/fight scene follows where at one point the granny is set on fire and the peach "pisses" on her to put it out. I'm not kidding about that part. At first I was like "oh, it's just peach juice", but the old lady announces that it's salty and then becomes increasingly angry because the peach uses her as it's own personal toilet. It even says "piss" in plain English on the screen.

see?

After all of this chaos ensues, the peach is pretty much over the whole thing and is ready to decimate the oldies, when the fairy steps and and assures the peach that they're good people and would make perfect adoptive parents for the little peach baby. So, out hatches Child of Peach.

From here on the story basically follows peach child growing (very quickly) and developing his super strength. When Peach Kid becomes a big Peach Kid, the audience may notice that he's a bit on the effeminate side. That's because, the actor they chose to play Peach Kid is actually an actress. Lam Siu-Lau, who made a whole mess of fantasy action flicks in the 80's, all of them I'd like to see. When King Devil begins his reign over the village, using the power of the stolen sword, Peach Kid steps in to defeat King Devil and his group of demonic minions. There's one particularly cool scene where we get to see King Devil in what I can only assume is Hell (wouldn't "King Devil" be Satan?) and all of his demon lackies are kind of meandering through the foggy darkness in a somehow very effective Jigoku-esque scene that makes me totally not want to go to Hell. Totally. Because, you know, I needed Child of Peach to convince me.

The middle part of the movie lost me a bit. All of the action, fantasy, costumes, and special effects were great but occasionally with foreign films such as this, the humor is lost in translation, at least for me anyway. I notice it more in certain cultures and with certain genres more than others. Family films are tricky because they're meant to be light so lots of silliness and general joke telling gets thrown around. When you're not apart of that culture it can feel like a whole lot of filler. Thankfully, Child of Peach didn't lose my attention for too long before coming back strong with an amazingly fantastic finale that totally left me anticipating the next film in the series.

Kind of spoilery, but who cares...?

My two favorite moments in the final showdown against King Devil...

1. The animal children come back with a vengeance....

Those monkey arms are KILLIN' me!

for real though...

Now they are half animal/half human. Well...make that mostly human with obscure animal arms and generally disproportionate body parts.


2. We discover that when the peach is cut into pieces with the mystic sword, it reassembles itself to me a marrionette-esque peach MAN.

WOW. you gotta see that thing in action. It's so fucking cute.

So Child of Peach was a success. My first Taiwanese kid's movie and it was a gem. And if the aforementioned youtube clip and all of this magical goodness wasn't enough to convince you to stick around for my review of the second film, perhaps this title card will do the trick.

Indeed, Magic of Stell.

Until next time, my beastly kittens...



P.S... I'm still a little confused about the year it was made. Several other review I've come across have said either 1986 or 1987. IMDB said 1984 but it also seemed to have the wrong actress listed as Peach Boy. Very confusing. If anyone cares to chime in I'd love to put this baby to bed.

P.S.S. All of the pictures used were borrowed from fellow bloggers because I'm a lazy fart. Sorry, guys. But check out Die Danger Die Die Kill and Golden Pigsy's sites. Both fine blogs who you should visit more often.

Multiple Maniacs (1970)

The decision to review a John Waters movie was a little daunting. I’m reminded of something I saw in the special features for the Hitchcock film Topaz. There’s a segment hosted by Leonard Maltin where he goes on to to say that “it’s almost an insult to try and critique a Hitchcock film, even one that’s not considered his best, because there’s no such thing as a bad Hitchcock movie, and who are we to question it?”. That’s sort of paraphrased but I understood what he was saying completely.  How can I, a mere fan, begin to dissect the work of a master? And that’s what John Waters is. Truly a master of his trade.  He can hardly be compared to anyone else before his time, occasionally Ed Wood or Russ Meyer but in the end he really did make something new and in turn became the one you would later compare trash filmographers to. That being said, I decided to start with one of his earliest films that’s still in existence. Multiple Maniacs.

A traveling group of criminals disguise themselves as “the Cavalcade of Perversions”,  a sideshow where on-lookers can see “the Puker Eater”,  a woman licking a bicycle seat and “real queers kissing”. Lead by Lady Divine, the freak show is actually a front for these outlaws to rob and often kill the audience. You can be sure to see John Waters’ cast of usual suspects in Multiple Maniacs. We have David Lochary as the announcer and boyfriend of Divine, his mistress Bonnie played by the lovely Mary Vivian Pierce, Cookie Mueller as Divine’s daughter Cookie. Edith Massey as a barmaid and Mink Stole in two roles, one being the unforgettable “Mink”, who frequents Catholic churches looking for a good time. And of course there’s Divine who needs no introduction.

The movie is really about Divine’s decent into madness. After being tipped off by Edie, the barmaid, that Divine’s boyfriend David is philandering with another woman, she makes the decision to hunt him down and kill him. Meanwhile, David and Bonnie have decided to do the same to Divine so they can be free.

"234...2345"

Amidst this love triangle many unrelated perversions occur. Divine in all of her sexiness, gets rapes by a drug addict and a bearded cross dresser. In a moment of desolation she’s lead to a church by the image of the Infant of Prague so she can pray. Knowing full well that she herself has committed unthinkable crimes she excuses it by inserting “I always did it with a clear conscience” in her prayer. In this church she meets an unusual woman. Now, I've seen a lot of John Waters movies, and I thought I’d been shocked before but seeing Mink Stole perform a “rosary job” on Divine just may take the cake on that one. Just seeing Mink and Divine making out made me blush. Mink goes on to tell the story of the Crucifixion as she, um…pleasures Divine using a rosary as anal beads. Truly one of the most lurid sites I've ever to behold! You’ll need a shower after that scene.

After her wild trip into lesbian blasphemy she and Mink team up to kill David and Bonnie. They head over the Edie’s bar but David and Bonnie have already left for Divine’s with the intention to do the same. From that point things get really out of hand. Once they've all met up there’s shootings, stabbings, disembowelments, cannibalism,  until there’s one (wo)man left standing. Divine of course! Alone and deranged she slips into pure psychosis. Experiencing fits of laughter and ferocity, foaming at the mouth, praising her own image in the mirror, she’s real gone! The high light of her madness, and perhaps the whole movie is when a giant lobster emerges from the floor of her living room and rapes her on the couch!

As always the cast is just phenomenal. I adore the Dreamlanders.  David Lochary has always been a personal favorite of mine. He’s swarthy and obviously highly intelligent. He has a wonderful speaking voice and it’s always a treat seeing him in the early works of John Waters.  It’s really tragic that he died from a PCP overdose in 1977. Something tells me he would have branched out as a cult actor as Mink Stole did, becoming more than just a household name. There’s also Mary Vivian Pearce, Waters’ best friend since childhood. She and Mink are the only two Dreamlanders to appear in every single Waters film! What I love about her is what a contrast she is to all of the unattractiveness you’re used to seeing in a Waters film. She’s soft and fair like a 1920’s actress, even when she plays a harlot or a creep, she plays it like a little girl pretending to do grown-up things. 

And then of course there’s Divine. John Water’s muse, who he often referred to as “His Liz Taylor”.There’s something admirable about Divine’s confidence. I would dare to say that no one could ever do what she has done on screen with such class! She  carries herself with an air of dignity, whether she’s  raping herself or eating dog shit. She has great style and an take no bullshit attitude we could all learn from. She’s always been one of my heroes and I’m not afraid to shout it from the fucking rooftops.

Multiple Maniacs must be the most salacious film in Waters entire body of work. Granted, haven’t seen Mondo Trasho or the Diane Linkletter Story and will probably never see Roman Candles, Eat Your Make Up and Hag in a Black Leather Jacket in their entirety. It’s a great companion piece to Pink Flamingos, bearing many similarities. The black and white is a little fuzzy and rough around the edges but it’s still a remarkable achievement. It’s a necessary piece of the puzzle for any diligent fan of the Pope of Trash and a staple for lovers of cult cinema. It’s never been commercially released but there are many copies floating around the web if you know where to look. I give it my utmost recommendation!