Space Thing (1968)

I'm just going to go ahead and say it. This was the weakest movie in the marathon. That's probably why they showed it first at 3pm to the sparse audience of early comers. That's still speaking highly of this entire event because I did quite enjoy it.

A man obsessed with sci-fi magazines finds himself bored with his horny wife, when she complains about the magazines coming in between them he puts them down momentarily to take us into a long awkward sex scene (the first of many I would see in the course of the next 12 hours). Post coitus he immediately starts gazing at his beloved science fiction comics again and without notice we're taken into a world of fantasy where our bored husband is posing as an alien (a human looking alien) to infiltrate an enemy space ship which just happens to be crawling with half nude women. They all of course find him irresistible and are itching to get him alone for, um, probing?

"Visit The Planet Of the Rapes!"  - HA! How misleading!

The movie doesn't really go anywhere. Its known as "the worst sci-fi movie ever made with nudity", which I think is an accurate description, although Doris Wishman's Nude on the Moon is viable contender. There's something very Ed Wood feeling about this movie. The forced dialog carries out the half assed plot humorously. The protagonist constantly reminds the audience of his revulsion to these femaliens, but how he MUST complete his mission. The few other men on the ship are apparently inadequate. The captain is a sexy dominatrix, she of course eventually comes around and wants to sleep with him too.

The sex scenes are the most boring part of the movie. They aren't really having sex, just making out. The girl is naked, the guy usually isn't, they lay side by side on a space bed and do this for for at least five minutes at a time. I would notice over the course of the evening that this is David F. Friedman's choice manner in which he exploits sex. More like suggestive dry humping if you ask me. The aspects that make some of these movies raunchy aren't the "sex", it's the prolonged foreplay. At the beginning of Space Thing for example, there's a painfully long scene where his wife is licking his, um...something hairy...I never really figured out what. It just looked like she had a mouth full of hair. It was truly revolting!

I loved that the opening credits of Space Thing were painted on a female body.

The climax of the movie, which is set in the desert (supposedly an alien planet), is mostly the girls topless running around the barren rocky landscape. It also features the most laughably ineffective "explosion" I've ever seen in a  movie.

This review is running a little short, but it was a very short movie! I'm glad I was able to catch it at the theater. I would have never sought it out myself and being just barely over and hour it was a nice aperitif for the main attractions.

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