Haseena Atom Bomb (1990)

How do I even begin to cope with the hot mess I’ve just witnessed? I’ve been on the hunt for a copy of Haseena Atom Bomb for years. It was one of my most desired hidden treasures. At one point I even bought a copy from a private collector that ended up being defective and was never compensated for that blunder on their part. That was a huge disappointment. But what’s an even bigger disappointment is now that I’ve finally obtained this infamous Lollywood film, is how difficult it was to sit through. A stifling 2 hours and 18 minutes of nonsensical crotch thrusting, repetitive action sequences and uncomfortable close ups.

I had a difficult time finding a plot in this movie; in traditional Pashto with no English Subtitles it was easy to get lost in the cartoonish happenings on screen. Having already read many reviews and descriptions I was able to gather that it follows a young woman who on her wedding night, is raped by a gang of criminals. She’s then forced to endure the torment of watching her husband to-be beaten and hung from the rafters using only her shoulders to keep him grasping onto life. When she eventually collapses he falls to his death sending her on a killing vendetta.

Before every killing she seduces the culprits in a lurid song and dance number.  Of which the fat old rapists becomes aroused. When she’s completed her jiggly love dance she chases them with an axe (which they imply she chops them with, though it’s sadly never shown) then hangs them from the rafter in a fitting plight of a vengeance.

In the tradition of the rape revenge genre, there’s really just a lot of ugliness here. I had delusions of her being some kind of awesome Pak Magical Girl super heroine but this film is just drenched in undulating male hormones. One or two action sequences would have been ok, but it was completely redundant and over exaggerated. You could smell the machismo jumping off the screen right into your nose holes. Like a rotten plate of Middle Eastern food mixed with sweaty balls. I will admit that I liked most of the song and dance numbers. Sure, Haseena’s a little out of shape but that’s a part of her charm. The costumes are mostly muffin-top inducing spandex and Mardi Gras masks.  What you can make out of the backdrops looks like it was set in an 80’s nail salon, an old episode of Eurovision or an Acid Mothers Temple concert. It’s clear that she has absolutely no training as a dancer. It’s mostly her flailing arms and legs and LOTS of dry humping...only it’s not so dry. The whole atmosphere looks sticky and morbidly unsexy. It’s like a psychedelic curry nightmare.

There’s a side story with a man on a horse who has a giant syringe which he drains victims of their blood. No idea what that’s all about. He has a female companion that I would have confused for Haseena if it wasn’t for her butch haircut. All I could gather was that the same crime syndicate who killed Haseena’s husband must have done something deserving for Syringe-horseback-forklift-guy and butch-haircut-lady to also seek revenge. They sort of team up in the end but that’s just a big mess of confusion that my Anglo Saxon brain just couldn’t compute.

There are a few reasons I can attribute to why my experience with Haseena Atom Bomb was less than savory. For starters, I had high expectations. The colorful cover and musical sequences I’d seen on YouTube gave me the impression that I was in for some epic sexy fairy tale. Obviously that was a complete fabrication of my false hopes. Secondly, the length is just ridiculous. This movie could have been half as long and maintained the same linear storyline. It’s like they didn’t want to waste a frame so they just poorly edited it all into a patchy repetitious frankenstein creation. Its length forced me to break my viewings into three pieces, which is generally against my principles as a viewer and even more so as a REviewer. Lastly it’s really just not a good movie, and was probably a poor choice as my introduction to Lollywood. I feel like I’ve just wallowed in filth. Slowly and meticulously, so it fills every crevice of my psyche. Not in the good way either. There are no winners when it comes to Haseena Atom Bomb.


Would I watch it again? Ehhh…in its entirety? Definitely not. There are some clip-worthy moments and that’s about it. That’s the most positive credit I can give Haseena Atom Bomb. I’m glad I finally saw it though. After years of searching for something, obtaining it is a triumph in itself. Now it’s behind me and that curiosity has been savagely, shamelessly, and profoundly quenched. Cheers!

Cinema Super Friends Podcast Episode 5

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I recently joined in on a cinema podcast hosted by my husband Arthur and our friend Sergio. This is the third I've participated in. We feature a movie that we all watch together then we dedicate the first half of the podcast discussing it. The second half is on various movie related subjects including things we we'd reccomend and events we're looking forward to. Soon there will be a website with all of the back episodes but for now I thought I should go ahead and post the most recent to download. The movie was Sergio's pick, the 1995 Wong Kar Wai film Fallen Angels. We go on to discuss Don't Play With Me Part 2, Battle of Los Angeles, It's Kind of a Funny Story, Human Highway and Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. So without further adieu...

CSF EP #5

What Are Friends For? (1980)

Where do I even begin with this one?

Last year we happened upon a goldmine of Martin Tahse’s After School Specials DVDs at a Goodwill. Each set was about $4 and has since become one of my most treasured thrift store finds, especially as far as DVDs are concerned. We made our way through them one by one, whenever we were bored and didn't feel like committing to an entire movie. One day I came home to see that my husband was watching one. I had missed most of it but what I did see had me completely captivated for the remainder of the episode. It was so amazing I had to start it over to see everything that I had missed. I was completely blown away by its creepiness. I thought about reviewing it for a long time but it never happened amidst the business of last year. Only recently when I re-discovered the sets in a box of my most treasured cult movies did I decide to finally dust it off and give it a second look.

“What Are Friends For?” is about a 12 year old girl named Amy whose parents are divorced and has recently moved away with her mother. In their new apartment she meets a bizarre little girl named “Michelle Mudd”. Both having divorced parents, Michelle feels a connection to Amy  and recruits the naive girl to be her new best friend. Despite the warnings from the other girls in the building. You can tell right away that Michelle Mudd isn't the kind of girl you want to get mixed up with.

As we get to know the characters we discover that Amy is a sensible young lady who collects antique dolls. Michelle is shop lifting, incantation chanting, magick practicing lunatic. She convinces Amy to make an unbreakable pact of friendship while reciting a Tibetan mantra in a smoke filled room with red candles. Amy doesn't seem to mind, she finds her to be a bit peculiar but harmless. Truth be told I wouldn't have minded either, everyone knows pre-teen girls love witchcraft.

…That is until your psychotic wiccan friend starts painting her face up like some kind Clan of the Cave bear KISS fan and bathing your antique dolls in blood.

Michelle is WHACK!

Amy is not NEARLY as put-off by this as she should be. She’s hurt that Michelle ruined the doll she gave her but she gives no mention to the Aleister Crowley symbols on the wall, her ghastly appearance, or “omfg, is that animal or human blood?!”

Even after this, Amy gives her another chance when she comes to her crying that she’s just upset that her father is marrying his bimbo girlfriend “Call Me Diane” – as she’s coined her. Amy, being from divorced parents, understands and forgives her. They go about their normal routine. It’s not long before Michelle starts in on her craziness again. Shoplifting and slipping the items in Amy’s back pocket.

What a douche.

Naturally, there’s a moral to this story. Michelle has "a problem". Yes "A" as in singular. That’s how they tie together anyway. Because of her inability to cope with her parents divorce, she steals earrings and dolls. I thought it was kind of weak to brush off all the lunacy with that kind of ending, but hey, it’s an After School Special. 

 I’m semi-obsessed with Dana Hill who plays Michelle Mudd now. I looked her up to discover that she became a voice actor for Rugrats, Duckman, Goof Troop, Adventures of the Gummi Bears, Sonic the Hedgehog, Darkwing Duck, Jetsons: the Movie, Tom and Jerry: the Movie, and Rover Dangerfield. The list goes ON and ON! She practically narrated my childhood. You may also recognize her as Audrey Griswold from National Lampoon’s European Vacation. I always had a soft spot for a truly talented and borderline sinister child actor and Dana Hill is definitely up there.

This is easily the best After School Special I've ever seen. Although not nearly as perverse, at times it reminds me of Bad Ronald. Possibly just because it’s campy, tasteless, features a mentally unstable young person and was made for TV. There’s a look and feel of this era that’s just priceless. I mean, take a look at some of the supporting cast…

"Call Me Diane"

Mr. Mudd

...Screech Powers

You couldn't make something this entertaining now. After school specials are like these little time capsules. You open them, you revel in them and they’re inevitably shelved once again. “What are Friends For?” probably didn't serve it’s purpose helping kids cope with divorce or how to handle crazy friends, but it does serve as a twisted little teledrama that you won’t soon forget.

Multiple Maniacs (1970)

The decision to review a John Waters movie was a little daunting. I’m reminded of something I saw in the special features for the Hitchcock film Topaz. There’s a segment hosted by Leonard Maltin where he goes on to to say that “it’s almost an insult to try and critique a Hitchcock film, even one that’s not considered his best, because there’s no such thing as a bad Hitchcock movie, and who are we to question it?”. That’s sort of paraphrased but I understood what he was saying completely.  How can I, a mere fan, begin to dissect the work of a master? And that’s what John Waters is. Truly a master of his trade.  He can hardly be compared to anyone else before his time, occasionally Ed Wood or Russ Meyer but in the end he really did make something new and in turn became the one you would later compare trash filmographers to. That being said, I decided to start with one of his earliest films that’s still in existence. Multiple Maniacs.

A traveling group of criminals disguise themselves as “the Cavalcade of Perversions”,  a sideshow where on-lookers can see “the Puker Eater”,  a woman licking a bicycle seat and “real queers kissing”. Lead by Lady Divine, the freak show is actually a front for these outlaws to rob and often kill the audience. You can be sure to see John Waters’ cast of usual suspects in Multiple Maniacs. We have David Lochary as the announcer and boyfriend of Divine, his mistress Bonnie played by the lovely Mary Vivian Pierce, Cookie Mueller as Divine’s daughter Cookie. Edith Massey as a barmaid and Mink Stole in two roles, one being the unforgettable “Mink”, who frequents Catholic churches looking for a good time. And of course there’s Divine who needs no introduction.

The movie is really about Divine’s decent into madness. After being tipped off by Edie, the barmaid, that Divine’s boyfriend David is philandering with another woman, she makes the decision to hunt him down and kill him. Meanwhile, David and Bonnie have decided to do the same to Divine so they can be free.

"234...2345"

Amidst this love triangle many unrelated perversions occur. Divine in all of her sexiness, gets rapes by a drug addict and a bearded cross dresser. In a moment of desolation she’s lead to a church by the image of the Infant of Prague so she can pray. Knowing full well that she herself has committed unthinkable crimes she excuses it by inserting “I always did it with a clear conscience” in her prayer. In this church she meets an unusual woman. Now, I've seen a lot of John Waters movies, and I thought I’d been shocked before but seeing Mink Stole perform a “rosary job” on Divine just may take the cake on that one. Just seeing Mink and Divine making out made me blush. Mink goes on to tell the story of the Crucifixion as she, um…pleasures Divine using a rosary as anal beads. Truly one of the most lurid sites I've ever to behold! You’ll need a shower after that scene.

After her wild trip into lesbian blasphemy she and Mink team up to kill David and Bonnie. They head over the Edie’s bar but David and Bonnie have already left for Divine’s with the intention to do the same. From that point things get really out of hand. Once they've all met up there’s shootings, stabbings, disembowelments, cannibalism,  until there’s one (wo)man left standing. Divine of course! Alone and deranged she slips into pure psychosis. Experiencing fits of laughter and ferocity, foaming at the mouth, praising her own image in the mirror, she’s real gone! The high light of her madness, and perhaps the whole movie is when a giant lobster emerges from the floor of her living room and rapes her on the couch!

As always the cast is just phenomenal. I adore the Dreamlanders.  David Lochary has always been a personal favorite of mine. He’s swarthy and obviously highly intelligent. He has a wonderful speaking voice and it’s always a treat seeing him in the early works of John Waters.  It’s really tragic that he died from a PCP overdose in 1977. Something tells me he would have branched out as a cult actor as Mink Stole did, becoming more than just a household name. There’s also Mary Vivian Pearce, Waters’ best friend since childhood. She and Mink are the only two Dreamlanders to appear in every single Waters film! What I love about her is what a contrast she is to all of the unattractiveness you’re used to seeing in a Waters film. She’s soft and fair like a 1920’s actress, even when she plays a harlot or a creep, she plays it like a little girl pretending to do grown-up things. 

And then of course there’s Divine. John Water’s muse, who he often referred to as “His Liz Taylor”.There’s something admirable about Divine’s confidence. I would dare to say that no one could ever do what she has done on screen with such class! She  carries herself with an air of dignity, whether she’s  raping herself or eating dog shit. She has great style and an take no bullshit attitude we could all learn from. She’s always been one of my heroes and I’m not afraid to shout it from the fucking rooftops.

Multiple Maniacs must be the most salacious film in Waters entire body of work. Granted, haven’t seen Mondo Trasho or the Diane Linkletter Story and will probably never see Roman Candles, Eat Your Make Up and Hag in a Black Leather Jacket in their entirety. It’s a great companion piece to Pink Flamingos, bearing many similarities. The black and white is a little fuzzy and rough around the edges but it’s still a remarkable achievement. It’s a necessary piece of the puzzle for any diligent fan of the Pope of Trash and a staple for lovers of cult cinema. It’s never been commercially released but there are many copies floating around the web if you know where to look. I give it my utmost recommendation! 

Everything is Terrible 2: Tokyo Drift (2010)

In lieu of losing that massive ‘get reacquainted’ blog I’d been working on for half the week, I’ll probably be keeping my next few blogs brief. I’ll also be typing them out in Microsoft Word like I should have been the whole time.

I wanted to mention a heart warming video compilation that has sky rocketed to favorite-among-favorites. Everything is Terrible 2: Tokyo Drift.

I bought the original, Everything is Terrible: the Movie , on my first visit to Amoeba after the move. I've always loved Video Mixtape comps such as is this, and there are so many if you know where to look! One of the most popular (and BEST) is 5 Minutes to Live’s Lost and Found Video Night. They've been doing it for a long time and I are up to volume 10. I've seen about half, some are better than others but over all it’s a noble feet and will be sure to keep your friends entertained at any gathering. There’s also TV Carnage, which happens to be my least favorite. Despite their misleading magical cover art, the tone is much more serious. Parts of it could fall under reality death video, and that’s not what I’m into at all. I want pop culture, flashiness and camp. Bad movies, bad commercials bad haircuts. I want what Tim and Eric satirize.There are still quite a few I haven’t seen yet. The video mixtape genre is timeless and limitless. Check out ‘Not Coming to a Theater Near You’s blog on the subject to read up on a few others.

Then there’s Everything is Terrible. The first one is a wonderfully entertaining video mixtape. They make their own little creative embellishments in the editing room which I think really adds to the spirit of the parody. I laughed all the way through and immediately wanted to show it to my friends: Mission Accomplished! I of course had to go back for the second one, I had no idea that it could possibly be better. BUT IT WAS! I fell in love with 2 Terrible. Not only does follow a narrative (Jesus vs. the Anti-Christ AKA Duane vs. Baby Hitler) but it has a philosophy. Their slogan “If Everything is Terrible then nothing is” says it all. It’s a way of life I adapted a long time ago, before Everything is Terrible entered my life. Hunting for oddities has become a normal part of my shopping routine. Unlabeled video tapes at thrift stores are potential gold mines. Everything is Terrible knows this and has obviously put a lot of effort into making it an art.


I also can’t help but be reminded of one of my favorite dvds of all time. Sort of a video mixtape, sort of  it’s own thing. Paper Rad’s Trash Talking. Half of the dvd is their own abrasive neon midi saturated video toaster edited animation, but the other half is a sensory overload of pop cultural mishaps. 80’s commercials, Moonbeam movie clips, strange fantasies about Garfield. All woven together in fluorescent package, tied with a radioactive bow that you’re almost afraid to touch because it could blow your face off and burn your shadow.

That was MY take on it anyway. I've met a lot of people who dislike it for the music or animation style, but even to those I might suggest Everything is Terrible 2. It’s more straight forward and features the same Video Mixtape elements and only slight embellishments on the curiosities themselves.









They also add something called ”Three Minute Movies”. Where they sum up a bad movie into three minutes of awesomeness. This lead me to one of the greatest cinematic discoveries of the year to date.

Hawk Jones.
Hawk Jones
Hawk Jones.



The best movie ever starring a cast entirely of children. He’s a tough 8 year old cop and he doesn't want any broads gettin’ in his way. This movie is actually pretty funny,and even somewhat intentionally which is rare for this kind of pursuit. Just one of the many treasure to behold on Everything is Terrible 2: Tokyo Drift.












So I guess that’s it for now. What’s your favorite Video Mixtape? Have you ever made one of your own? Or found something absurd that should make it to one of these tapes? Let me know!

Until next time, give it up for our Lord and Savior...DUANE...

well fuck me running...

Hi. I just lost a really REALLY fucking long five movie review/reacquaintance blog. Now I'm borderline suicidal and resisting the urge to throw my laptop out the window.



So lets summarize if you please.

1. Ice Cream Man (1995) is a piece of shit, but Clint Howard is still awesome.

2. Uninvited (1988) is mutant killer cat movie with Clu Gulager, and I like it.

3. Leonard Part 6 (1987) (not to be confused with Pluto Nash) is one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me.
4. Pretty Poison (1968) is predictable but pleasant neo-noir with Anthony Perkins lookin' pretty foxy.

5. BOOM! (1968) starring the late Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton is a misunderstood art film that never found it's audience.


I'm apart of a film related podcast now. More on that later...

Now I have to go jump off a bridge. Just kidding...see you in six months...kidding again. I'm really going to start updating this thing more.

But for tonight, I'm fucking done.

Big Commotion (1968)

I'm starting to get back into the swing of things. I got a job, I feel like the madness of our life changing move is finally settling down. I'm finding myself back in a routine which is giving me the right state of mind for movie viewing. I mentioned in my last review that I came across a wonderful video store in South Pasadena called Videotheque. It's an all meat no filler kind of place. It ranges from an assortment of some of the greatest movies ever made to some of the weirdest movies ever made and in turn some of the most rare movies ever made. They carry a lot of films put out by 5 Minutes To Live (now known as Cinestrike). I've spent the last five years or so slowly building up a nice little 5mtl hoard but there's still so much more to be discovered and at $15 a pop (plus $6 for shipping) it can be a pricey hobby. And let's face it, collecting movies such as those sold on 5mtl and in my own online shop (I admittedly sell movies I dislike) can be hit or miss. The option to rent is a lifesaver! On that note, I was particularly enthralled to see that they carried what was going to be my next purchase from "Cinestrike" (still can't get used to calling them that). The 1968 Japanese film Big Commotion (Nippon oyafukô jidai)...

The major selling point on this one is that it stars my FAVORITE Japanese group, the Spiders, whose cd I bought on a whim a few years ago based on the incredible cover and have since played it out. They've been compared to a lot of bands, the Beatles, the Electric Prunes, the Ventures and the Monkees (the latter I think is most accurate). Really though, they're a superb rock n' roll group who has a distinct flavor of their own. It wasn't uncommon for them to open for the Beach Boys in Japan. I dare say their sound is in that vein as well, during the Pet Sound years. I could really gush over this group. They're wonderful and if you're unfamiliar I give them my utmost recommendation.

For some reason I thought this one had subtitles but unfortunately it didn't and as far as I know there isn't a copy floating around that does. I was a bit disappointed at first because there does seem to be a plot and I was having a hard time following it, but after a while you get the gist of what's going and I was able to engage myself in the comedic antics. The underlying storyline I seemed to notice revolved around the the lead singer, Masaaki Sakai who was lovesick over a girl and often slipped into fantasy sequences in which he makes a ridiculous cross-eyed face prior to. I found his role in the movie to be completely adorable! His animated features and movement made this movie a lot more watchable. I later realized that he's the main character on the show Monkey Magic! Which I believe was mostly directed by Jun Fukuda.

Aside from him, the rest of the band (there are seven total) seemed be the foils for his shenanigans. I read that this was Japan's answer to the Beatle's Help! but it struck me a lot more like an extended episode of the Monkees television show with Masaaki as the Peter Tork character. Aside from all of that, I still was a bit lost with the story but the other selling point were the awesome live performances and music videos. I'm surprised none of that footage has made it to youtube (unfortunately I don't know how to do any of that or I'd upload them myself). In fact, I'm disapointed that there aren't any decent clips of the Spiders at all other than a 1981 reunion where they cover Day Tripper, which I wouldn't say is one of their finest moments. I was thrilled to hear (and see) all of my favorite songs including Kaze Ga Naiteriru, which has made countless mixes.

All in all, worth a view for serious fans of the Spiders or the Japanese GS movement of the 60's. I was hoping for a bit more psychedelia to get me through the subtitle-less-ness but considering this movie is over two hours I would say it held my attention pretty well. At very least check out their music. You can get the cd used on Amazon for around $10. WELL WORTH IT.

Gone with the Pope (1976/2010)

I'm back again! This time hopefully for good. Just as suspected, everything fell into place right befre the move. We had a delightful cross country trip. Including a tourist-y afternoon spent in Tombstone. It was still fun for me because before that day I'd never even seen the desert in person. We arrived two weeks ago and things have been crazy-hectic ever since. Between family events, filling out applications, going to interviews and re-familiarizing ourself with the area it seems like we've barely had a moment's rest. Unfortunately almost all of my movies are packed up in the storage shed so our viewing options are very limited. We've bought a few movies but even still haven't had much time or space to watch them. Our living area is really small and cluttered right now so even when we have had the time it hasn't been very comfortable and cohesive for a proper viewing experience. Alas, one of the best things about living in LA are the amazing theaters. My favorite is of course, the New Beverly. The only note worthy movie experience I've had (other than discovering an incredibly hip rental place called Videotheque in South Pasadena which I'll be touching upon more in the future) was finally seeing the much anticipated Gone with the Pope.

Director and star Duke Mitchell was best known for his Dean Martin impersonations, particularly in his role in Bela Lugosi meets the Brooklyn Gorilla. He went on to make the cult classic Massacre Mafia Style. Gone with the Pope was intended to be the sequel, which I wasn't aware of until after I saw it. Although it didn't prevent me from thoroughly enjoying and following along fairly easy anyway. This was considered Mitchell's lost masterpiece. Scraping pennies and filming it on weekends when he could get the money, cast and crew together he filmed most of it in pieces over the course of five years. Over time the project was abandoned. In 1981 Mitchell died leaving Gone with the Pope unfinished to collect dust in his son's garage. In 2009 Grindhouse releasing were offered the opportunity to assemble the piece to make it a coherent film. Bob Murawski ( who was there to introduce the movie the night I saw it) made it his pet project in between his bigger jobs ( Drag Me To Hell, Spiderman 1,2 & 3 and the Hurt Locker, ).The end result is a hilariously offensive cult film on par with the work of the Kuchar Brothers.

The story revolves around Paul (Duke Mitchell) a hitman who's recently been released from prison. He's hired for a new job and recruits a goofy lopsided hispanic with a unsettling grin to assist him. After collecting payment we see a montage of him and his girlfriend playing and having fun. So absurdly over the top, it had the entire audience in hysterics.

He gets his group of buddies together and he cooks up a scheme to sail from California to Rome, Italy so they can kidnap the Pope for a ransom of one dollar from every Catholic in the world. A great plot if you ask me and even in it's flaws it's the small details that make this movie so perfect. The almost homo-erotic "buddy" scenes, Paul throwing his friend's necklace in the ocean for no reason at all and maybe best of all, the off-putting John Water's-esque "sex"(?) scene with a random obese woman he finds on the street. People who take movies too seriously might not see the genius of Gone with the Pope but those with a love for all things campy and high tolerance for sexist, racist and generally offensive dialogue will be dying of laughter at this resurfaced gem.

As of now it's still touring select cities. It will no doubt be getting a DVD release in the near future so if you miss out on the screenings keep your eyes peeled, here's the link to the official website.






So am I back for good? For the most part. Like I said, my movies are still packed and until all of the kinks are ironed out of the arrival (for instance, being on shared computer) my reviews may still be a bit sparse. However I am certainly in the right place to continue my hunt for the weirdest and wildest movies around so don't be discouraged if my blog updates are still somewhat sparse. I'm making a comeback and it will be more awesome than ever so stay tuned!

Satanik (1968)

Satanik is one of the many Euro-crime movies to come out in the 60's. A category I generally enjoy because even when they're a bit slow or mediocre they have a stylish flair that belongs to this particular sub-genre. Satanik is based on the comic by Max Bunker who's most famous for doing Kriminal and Alan Ford. Kriminal was also made into a movie in 1968 directed by Umberto Lenzi. I always assumed it was a rip-off of Danger: Diabolik, and it probably is, but it certainly has a life of it's own. The Satanik comic is similar in flavor. The only difference, this super-kriminal is female.

A hideously deformed lady scientist is working on cell regeneration with an elderly scientist. He tells her the formula isn't ready. They've been experimenting on animals and the subjects have become extremely hostile after being given the treatment. Unable to cope with her appearance any longer she kills her fellow colleague and takes the solution. She wretches, gags and passes out, when she awakens she's been transformed into a drop dead gorgeous sex pot. After this point the movie kind of goes no where. She philanders around using her looks to steal money or at least have men throw money at her. Nothing really out of the ordinary about that. The only real difference from her and any run in the mill gold digger is that she requires medicine that keeps her from looking like the crusty old hag that she really is. Obviously with Jekyll/Hyde overtones. The idea is that when she's ugly she's "normal" and when she's beautiful she's wicked, but that doesn't make any sense. She did kill the other Scientist in order to get the solution in the first place. Magda Konopka is great in the leading role. She looks pretty disgusting in her old bag make-up and transforms into a sultry swan-like bombshell. The plot is pretty watered down. I can still dig it because I have no problem just enjoying retro clothes and atmosphere (although the quality of my copy left something to be desired) but I can see how it often being bulked with Diabolik, Killing, Kilink (the unauthorized Turkish Killing) , Kriminal and other masked thieves, could leave something to be desired. The poster art is a bit misleading. She only wears the famous costume in one scene and it's for a striptease. No sneaking around stealing diamonds here.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Is Satanik a bad movie? Not by my standards. It's not a shining example of Euro-Crime or even Super-Kriminal, but I still wouldn't write it off. It has an offbeat charm that only the sole lady-kriminal could offer and is certainly worth a look for devotees of retro Italian cinema.