Spookies - 1986

I was recently discussing fun throw-away horror movies with a friend when he asked if I'd seen Spookies. I knew I owned it but couldn't recall having watched it. I wanted to kick off the Schlocktober marathon with something light and similar in spirit as the Hilarious House of Frightenstein since it was fresh on my palette. I was expecting a Gremlins/Ghoulies/Critters-esque tiny creature movie, but what I definitely was not expecting was the realization five minutes in that I in fact HAVE seen Spookies! What's worse is that it couldn't have been that long ago because I've only owned the film for a few years. I find it a bit worrisome that at the tender age of 27 my memory is already slipping. Not every detail was intact, perhaps I watched it in a party setting. After this more focused viewing I can definitely say it's a magical patchworked casserole of confused plots and monsters running amok.

The film is essentially two unfinished movies melded into one chaotic mess of bewilderment. The original story followed a group of teenagers (mostly played by actors in their 30's) who end up in a haunted house. One of the girls starts messing with a Quija bored and becomes possessed. This whole story line had a strong Night of the Demons vibe, and the possessed girl was harnessing some serious Angela realness. 

See what I mean??

The second story which was filmed later and re-edited to make an even less comprehensible spooktacular opus featured a sorcerer with a were-cat trying to reanimate his dead bride. It's all tied together by the notion that all the deaths by various demons via Angela-clone-Quija-mistress are sacrifices for the resurrection of his lady friend.

There were a few moments in the film that I feel are worth noting. Starting with a brief but memorable character in the graveyard at the beginning of the film. A young boy who has run away from home encounters a weird drifter dude hanging out in a tree. I was so sure this guy was going to turn out to be a monster of some kind. He was creepy, had a bit of a Lost Boys quality to him? It was such a small part but the general presence of the actor was strong and they really should have taken the character further. (apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks so.)

There were almost too many characters to keep track of but as far as the actual creatures I was quite taken with the farting zombies and the exploding grim reaper. The film was so charmingly jumbled that no more than 5 minutes went by without introducing a new monster. It had tinges of so many different films that I didn't even know where to begin making comparisons. Elements of Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, the directing style of a masterpiece such as Dungeonmaster with shades of Andy Milligan. Really though, I can't think of a negative thing to say about Spookies aside from wanting more of the creepface drifter. Spookies serves it's purpose and left this viewer more than satisfied (at least the second time around).

It's like a Spirit Halloween store exploded on screen!

Day 1 accomplished! So far Schlocktober is off to a good start! Check back tomorrow for whatever ends up tickling my fancy later this evening. Will there be a wizard? a chainsaw? a cannibal? a house hold appliance? Who knows, but I'll try to make it a good one!

Child of Peach - 1984/1987

As you may know, I have a particular fondness for foreign, weird, archaic or just plain horrible kids movies. Despite having seen lots of other Asian fantasy flicks, but I realized that Taiwanese films, at least as far as family films are concerned, are relatively new to me. So I was more than up for the challenge. My  introduction to the world of Peach Kid was by stumbling upon a clip from the second film on youtube while doing some cultural mining. I plan to review that film later, but if you'd like to see the clip, click HERE, it's only 34 seconds and will make you a believer.

So I sought it out (plus the sequel) and let it collect dust for a few months, as I do, before finally feeling the need to engage in some cute Taiwanese kung-fu fantasy peach loving weirdness. Thankfully my copy had subs, but they were very soft and bleeding through the image at times so much squinting was involved. The story begins with a family living in an enchanted (or is it radioactive?) garden. A man and woman along with  their baby, protect a mystic sword and are aided by three anthropomorphic animal children. One, a "cock" (or just "bird" if you prefer, which in this case I do as it is not a term I find easy to use in reference to a kid running around in a feather suit), another, a dog and the last, a monkey. These animal children can shape shift at will and despite their petite childlike frames, are little magical fighting machines. One day a villainous tokusatsu looking bad guy named "King Devil" comes along to steal the mystic sword. A fight ensues, the animal children are blasted out of frame and the man protecting the sword, the garden and it's inhabitants is killed. His wife is struck by some kind of laser beam as well and I can only assume she eventually dies too because, the last we see of her is placing her baby inside a giant peach (who without hesitation sends it's pit flying to make room) and instructs a magical little fairy (who decided to pop in unexpected) to make sure the peach takes good care of her baby. End scene.

The giant peach, which can fly by the way takes the baby far away until it finally encounters an elderly childless couple. Though at first the peach is off put by the couple since, naturally, they try to eat it. An extended chase/fight scene follows where at one point the granny is set on fire and the peach "pisses" on her to put it out. I'm not kidding about that part. At first I was like "oh, it's just peach juice", but the old lady announces that it's salty and then becomes increasingly angry because the peach uses her as it's own personal toilet. It even says "piss" in plain English on the screen.

see?

After all of this chaos ensues, the peach is pretty much over the whole thing and is ready to decimate the oldies, when the fairy steps and and assures the peach that they're good people and would make perfect adoptive parents for the little peach baby. So, out hatches Child of Peach.

From here on the story basically follows peach child growing (very quickly) and developing his super strength. When Peach Kid becomes a big Peach Kid, the audience may notice that he's a bit on the effeminate side. That's because, the actor they chose to play Peach Kid is actually an actress. Lam Siu-Lau, who made a whole mess of fantasy action flicks in the 80's, all of them I'd like to see. When King Devil begins his reign over the village, using the power of the stolen sword, Peach Kid steps in to defeat King Devil and his group of demonic minions. There's one particularly cool scene where we get to see King Devil in what I can only assume is Hell (wouldn't "King Devil" be Satan?) and all of his demon lackies are kind of meandering through the foggy darkness in a somehow very effective Jigoku-esque scene that makes me totally not want to go to Hell. Totally. Because, you know, I needed Child of Peach to convince me.

The middle part of the movie lost me a bit. All of the action, fantasy, costumes, and special effects were great but occasionally with foreign films such as this, the humor is lost in translation, at least for me anyway. I notice it more in certain cultures and with certain genres more than others. Family films are tricky because they're meant to be light so lots of silliness and general joke telling gets thrown around. When you're not apart of that culture it can feel like a whole lot of filler. Thankfully, Child of Peach didn't lose my attention for too long before coming back strong with an amazingly fantastic finale that totally left me anticipating the next film in the series.

Kind of spoilery, but who cares...?

My two favorite moments in the final showdown against King Devil...

1. The animal children come back with a vengeance....

Those monkey arms are KILLIN' me!

for real though...

Now they are half animal/half human. Well...make that mostly human with obscure animal arms and generally disproportionate body parts.


2. We discover that when the peach is cut into pieces with the mystic sword, it reassembles itself to me a marrionette-esque peach MAN.

WOW. you gotta see that thing in action. It's so fucking cute.

So Child of Peach was a success. My first Taiwanese kid's movie and it was a gem. And if the aforementioned youtube clip and all of this magical goodness wasn't enough to convince you to stick around for my review of the second film, perhaps this title card will do the trick.

Indeed, Magic of Stell.

Until next time, my beastly kittens...



P.S... I'm still a little confused about the year it was made. Several other review I've come across have said either 1986 or 1987. IMDB said 1984 but it also seemed to have the wrong actress listed as Peach Boy. Very confusing. If anyone cares to chime in I'd love to put this baby to bed.

P.S.S. All of the pictures used were borrowed from fellow bloggers because I'm a lazy fart. Sorry, guys. But check out Die Danger Die Die Kill and Golden Pigsy's sites. Both fine blogs who you should visit more often.

The Hypnotic Eye (1960)

The film opens with a beautiful young woman walking into her apartment and going straight to the kitchen to wash her hair. She puts the shampoo in and starts to lather, she turns on the stove and begins to scrub harder and harder over the fire. We see this all from the burner's point of view. Her hair quickly ignites setting her whole head and face a'flame. An unforgettable opening sequence for any time period.

This young woman isn't the first to be found apparently self mutilated. One has washed her face with sulfuric acid, another stuck her face in an electric fan blade. None of the victims remember anything about their accidents. Detective Steve Kennedy thinks the incidents are related and that somehow someone must be influencing them. That same night Steve takes his best girl Marcia and her friend Dodie (played by Merry Anders) to a lounge act featuring a handsome french Hypnotist named Desmond  (Jacques Bergerac, ex-husband of Ginger Rogers). He encourages the audience to participate then calls up the three most beautiful women in the audience, even tells an old lady "no, not you" when she excitedly thought she was chosen. Of the three, the pretty girl he favors goes into a special trance.

I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this. That night, she'll go home and  be found hideously disfigured the next day. When Dodie becomes the next victim, Marcia gets suspicious. Of course Detective Kennedy has asshole-b-movie-cop-syndrome which makes him obnoxiously skeptical of what's plainly right in front of him. It's not until Marcia uses herself as bait during another show that things begin to add up. She successfully evades the on-stage hypnosis by closing her eyes and pretending to be under his spell. After the show she explains to Detective Kennedy and his Doctor friend (played by Guy Prescott) that he holds a "real eye" in his palm that emits a strange blinking light that lulls you into a deep sleep. She then mentions that his final command is a suggestive whisper in her ear to visit his dressing room after the show around midnight. She's compelled to go so Detective Kennedy and the good doctor decide to follow her and make sure she comes out safely. When Marcia finally does leave she robotically gets into a cab with Desmond, obviously having fallen into the same trap as the other girls. The two follow her on a "date" with the hypnotist. He wines and dines her, they end up at a smokey Beat Club (The Gas House in Venice, California) where we get to see several famous beatniks. Eric "Big Daddy" Nord who was a San Francisco based poet, owner of the famous Gas House and also made appearances in several genre films of the day. The other is Lawrence Lipton who was a famous journalist and also father to James Lipton of Inside the Actors Studio. Marcia has clearly been bewitched by Desmond but it's not until his lovely assistant, Justine played by the magnetic Allison Hayes (shortly after her starring role in Attack of the 50 Foot Woman), is brought into the forefront of this diabolical plot against beauty do the pieces start to fall into place.

There are a lot of notable aspects of the Hypnotic Eye that make it a quirky and enjoyable addition to the myriad of b-movies coming out during that time period. Two names popped in my head when the story began to unfold, firstly, William Castle. Castle is incontestably the King of Gimmicks. He brilliantly and almost single-handedly created a very special and exciting element of the theatrical experience. Audience participation, most notably with the Tingler's "Percepto!" in which vibrating devices were inserted into the seats so you'd feel a tingling sensation during a climactic scene of the movie. He re-worked the gimmick throughout his career also including props for the audience to incorporate into the experience, such as the "Illusion-O" ghost viewer given out at screenings of 13 Ghosts. It became extremely trendy for a while in the late 50's - late 60's to use such gimmicks. The Hypnotic Eye is certainly one such film. Towards of the end of the movie Desmond would have the audience interact with some simple parlor trick hypnosis. Good clean fun and undoubtedly intended for we, the film audience, to participate in (I'd be lying if I said I didn't try a few). There's even a Hypnotic Eye balloon given out to the audience in the film to use in a particular bit and I'd bet a pretty penny those same balloons were handed out to the film going audience as well.

The other name that came to mind was Herschell Gordon Lewis. Why? Because this was OBVIOUSLY an inspiration for the Wizard of Gore. They're almost identical in plot except for the twist at the end of Hypnotic Eye. Wizard of Gore is a mega-cheesey yet straight forward pre-splatter film about a magician who puts female audience members under a trance then butchers her as a shocking "trick" for the crowd. With the wave of a hand she's unharmed only to go home and be found dead in the same fashion in which she was maimed by "Montag the Magnificent". A more gore-centric spin on the same idea, I'd be very surprised if H.G. Lewis wasn't a fan of the Hypnotic Eye.

This is a charming lesser known cult movie. Many fans from it's original release say it can't be enjoyed outside of the theatrical setting and although I'm sure it helps, I found it to be a delight even if disgraced by my home video set-up. Problems with the film? Not many. I would have liked a bit more information on the eye itself or the background of the villains. The tie-together is fine but with so much exposition and build up a little bit of back story wouldn't have hurt. Overall there's a lot of fun to be had here. At times it reminded me of some of those wonderful Criterion b-movies that were released a several years ago such as Fiend without a Face. The print looks great, it's nice to see Warner Archive has finally given it a little but of much needed attention. Although those discs can run a bit pricey and be a gamble, I can assure you that if you're a fan of 50's/60's camp the Hypnotic Eye is a fantastic no-filler example of cult cinema at it's finest sure to satisfy your need for the preposterous.

She Freak (1967)

With David F. Friedman's background as a carny, She Freak could be considered his opus. He traveled with carnivals when he was a kid which gives us a lot of insight into his legacy. She Freak is about a small town southern Waitress, Jade Cochran, who wants a better life for herself. So she quits her job and starts waiting tables for a carnival food stand. Definitely doesn't appear to be much better but she's happy with the change of scene and the opportunity to travel. She meets a lot of people, including a burlesque dancer named Moon who becomes her roommate. She also meets a beefy tough guy named Blackie who runs the ferris wheel. She's instantly drawn to him. Jade inquires to Moon about the single men around the carnival, Moon describes a few eligible bachelors. The most appealing was the well-off Steve St. John, who runs the freak show. Jade is starting to show signs of her gold digging nature by instantly being interested in him because of his money. She pursues Steve (played by Bill McKinney, who spoke before the showing) and they begin courting. During this time, she also hooks up with Blackie for a one night stand. Uh oh! Our little midget friend from the side show see's her leaving his cabin late at night which is a good sign that there's trouble to come.

For fear of giving too much away, I'll leave the plot description at that. I'll just add one thing, if you haven't seen this, expect a blatant rip-off of Todd Brownings Freaks. That's not a bad thing though, it's a nice homage and certainly has it's own flair. One of the most interesting aspects of She Freak is the documentary style footage of carnival life. In between the story we're shown in great detail the routines of the workers, the vendors, the rides, the side-shows,the game booths, the food being prepared and even the tents and rides being taken down and re-built. Where as Freaks showed us how these infamous people with seemingly unlivable disabilities function, She Freak shows us the gritty lifestyle and occupations of your average carny folk. They even break down the lingo for us.

It's really quite a remarkable film when you look at the big picture. It's educational and the story is an pays respect to one of the greatest movies ever made. The acting isn't too bad in my opinion either. Claire Brennan does a wonderful job as the greedy, underhanded Jade Cochran, and Bill McKinney would go on to star in movies like the Outlaw Josey Wales, First Blood, the Green Mile and most infamously as Ned Beatty's redneck rapist in Deliverance.

She Freak is definitely not to everyone's taste. Even fans of b-movies might be a little disappointed. There is a lack of freaks in the movie, which is what the title is trying to sell you on. As I'm sure David F. Friedman knew when he made it, you can't please everyone. If you're interested in seeing a historical account of carnival life with a fairly entertaining modern (for the 60's) spin on Freaks, then surely check it out.

Stay tuned for my next David F. Friedman review! A Smell of Honey, A Swallow of Brine...

Satanik (1968)

Satanik is one of the many Euro-crime movies to come out in the 60's. A category I generally enjoy because even when they're a bit slow or mediocre they have a stylish flair that belongs to this particular sub-genre. Satanik is based on the comic by Max Bunker who's most famous for doing Kriminal and Alan Ford. Kriminal was also made into a movie in 1968 directed by Umberto Lenzi. I always assumed it was a rip-off of Danger: Diabolik, and it probably is, but it certainly has a life of it's own. The Satanik comic is similar in flavor. The only difference, this super-kriminal is female.

A hideously deformed lady scientist is working on cell regeneration with an elderly scientist. He tells her the formula isn't ready. They've been experimenting on animals and the subjects have become extremely hostile after being given the treatment. Unable to cope with her appearance any longer she kills her fellow colleague and takes the solution. She wretches, gags and passes out, when she awakens she's been transformed into a drop dead gorgeous sex pot. After this point the movie kind of goes no where. She philanders around using her looks to steal money or at least have men throw money at her. Nothing really out of the ordinary about that. The only real difference from her and any run in the mill gold digger is that she requires medicine that keeps her from looking like the crusty old hag that she really is. Obviously with Jekyll/Hyde overtones. The idea is that when she's ugly she's "normal" and when she's beautiful she's wicked, but that doesn't make any sense. She did kill the other Scientist in order to get the solution in the first place. Magda Konopka is great in the leading role. She looks pretty disgusting in her old bag make-up and transforms into a sultry swan-like bombshell. The plot is pretty watered down. I can still dig it because I have no problem just enjoying retro clothes and atmosphere (although the quality of my copy left something to be desired) but I can see how it often being bulked with Diabolik, Killing, Kilink (the unauthorized Turkish Killing) , Kriminal and other masked thieves, could leave something to be desired. The poster art is a bit misleading. She only wears the famous costume in one scene and it's for a striptease. No sneaking around stealing diamonds here.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Is Satanik a bad movie? Not by my standards. It's not a shining example of Euro-Crime or even Super-Kriminal, but I still wouldn't write it off. It has an offbeat charm that only the sole lady-kriminal could offer and is certainly worth a look for devotees of retro Italian cinema.
 

The Prophecy (1979)

When I bought this I think I was mixing it up with the 1995 movie The Prophecy with Christopher Walken, not that I would rather have that one. In the long run I think I'm better off with this John Frankenheimer version. What starts out as a really serious eco-political thriller ends up being a total schlockfest in the end, and isn't that the way it should be?

Robert Foxworth plays a peace loving doctor who is frustrated with his futile attempts at making the world a better place in a big city. When offered a job with the Environmental Protection Agency which would give him a change of scene and a chance to make a difference in another way, he accepts. He doesn't know that his wife, Talia Shire, is pregnant. She's afraid to tell him because he doesn't want to contribute to the over population and squalor of the world today. Understandable.

When they arrive they discover that the loggers and the local American Indians are feuding over land. It has turned violent and his job is to investigate to see what he can turn up. Armand Assante plays the leader of the Indians and he gets into a particularly awesome skirmish with a lumberjack. A fight ensues with an axe and a chainsaw as the battle weapons!

Something very large and scary is killing people. The loggers think it's the Indians retaliating but the Natives know better, they think it's "Katahdin" a legendary beast who's described as "larger than a dragon with the eyes of a cat". Not quite, but I'm getting there. Hawk's wife Romona is a midwife who describes birthing babies with deformities that usually die right away. Many locals get very sick and collapse. The white devils of course chock it up to the old stereotype of redskins not being able to hold their firewater. When Ramona introduced the Doctor and his wife to her father, he describes the place as being "the Garden of Eden " and fishes out a skanky mutant tardpole for proof.

At first I just thought it was a mudskipper but upon closer inspection I noticed that it wasn't, and it also couldn't be from the Garden of Eden because this is truly AN ABOMINATION OF GODDDD!!!

Need more proof? Check out this freak baby...

They realize that the Paper Mill is secreting mercury in the water so the whole area is a melting pot of grotesque deviation. Everyone/everything drinks the water, eats the fish and then dreadful mutations occur.

Oh, and did I mention that the large scary thing killing people is a BEHEMOTH MUTANT BEAR??...

I was pretty surprised about that. I was expecting something a little more monster-y. As far as I can tell, aside from it being hideous, it seems to act like any grizzly bear. Especially one whose baby has been stolen! (yeah, that was a cub up there) At first I was disappointed by this, I liked the idea of the Indian legend monster being real. But no, just another don't fuck with nature horror movie. I got over it quick though. The bear delivers some nice fuck-uppery though. Lots of people throwing, face eating, bitch slapping, it can even breathe under water.

In a lot of ways this movie reminds me of a better version of Godmonster of Indian Flats! Toxic gasses make local sheep turn into mutant sheep that serve ample helping of terror to the local assholes. Toxic mercury make big bear a BIGGER face-inside-out beast freak. They even kind of look alike!

Papa Bear

Sheep Fart Man

 For the record I'm not really sure where any "prophecy" fits in here. Not that I mind. I love that I was inadvertently mislead by this movie. It made all of the antics more entertaining in the long run. In the end...well, I'll let you find out. But for the record, preggo Talia Shire eats the same fish that Momma bear does. Suddenly that abortion that the Doc suggested is sounding pretty good!

Accion Mutante (1993)

I really had no idea what I was walking into with this one. I knew it was a Spanish film with a cult following, that's about it. Now that I've seen it, I'm glad I went into it blind. Knowing nothing made it even more of a mind blowing experience!

Set in a post apocalyptic future run by all attractive people. A group of crippled terrorists revolt against everything this modern oppressive society stands for by blowing up buildings and assassinating public figures. When their leader, Ramon, is released from prison he schemes up a plan for them to kidnap the daughter of a wealthy businessman for an outrageous ransom. At her wedding no less, they infiltrate and massacre the entire guest list and take Patricia with them in their crazy spaceship.

Ramon has already set the wheels in motion to turn his team against each other. He wants all the money for himself so he convinces them that there is a traitor among them, then begins picking them off one by one until all that's left is half a siamese twin who must drag his dead brother around. After their spaceship crashes on their destination planet, Patricia begins to act strange. Ever since Ramon unstapled her lips shut, she seems to have feelings for him. Which he repeatedly reminds her is just Stockholm Syndrome. This is the point I think I should comment on the obvious connections between this storyline and the taking of Patty Hearst. Her name is eve Patricia!

This movie really lives up to it's title. Literally non-stop Mutant Action from start to finish. It just gets more outrageous as the film goes on. Colorful strange characters doing bizarre and disgusting things. Like a combination of Paul Verhoeven and Frank Henenlotter. I'd even go a step further and say at times it reminded me of a Riddley Scott movie. It's no wonder this movie was an instant cult success. Over the top violence executed with a decent budget, depraved charcters and an amazing punk soundtrack. It really is a modern masterpiece. Directed by Alex de la Iglesia, this would be the first of many cult movies he would direct, including The Day of the Beast, which I've also been wanting to see but hadn't made the connection between the two movies.

Despite it's cult following, this movie is still relatively unknown. I never hear people talking about it. If you haven't seen it I urgently recommend tracking down this accion packed freak fest!