Rivals (1972)

My interest in Rivals was aroused when I realized the leading child actor was played by none other than Scott (Bad Ronald) Jacoby. As I would soon find out, he's just as big of a creepy weirdo in this unsung masterpiece of WTF Cinema.

Jamie is an awkward 10 year old kid who has an obsessive relationship with his Mom. His dad died in a skiing accident and ever since Jamie can't stand the site of another man around and appears to be trying to fall into the role of husband. Not completely abnormal, but on top of all this it's made clear he has an above average IQ and obviously an accelerated awareness of sex. He's constantly having these Freudian flashbacks of being in the bathroom with his parents, over-hearing pillow talk, and even a disturbing conversation where his Mother is discussing with a friend that his birth was like an orgasm to which the friend suggests if it was a sexual experience for her it must have been a sexual experience for Jamie. I think she's onto something there, this kid definitely has some sexual hang ups.

Then the Mother, Christine (played by Joan Hacket) meets Peter, a charming Robert Klein. He's impulsive, goofy and crazy about her. They begin dating, but for months Christine won't take Peter home or tell Jamie about this man she becomes involved with. By the time she she decides to break it to Jamie, the two have already decided to get married. Jamie immediately starts displaying jealous and aggressive behavior. This kid is clearly disturbed. He has dreams that are combinations of dark orgies and re-living his father's death. He talks to kids at school about sex in a very advanced way, and even gets himself into a bawdy situation with his babysitter (to say the least).

He obviously suffers from a textbook Oedipus Complex and displays symptoms you'd read about in Psychopathia Sexualis. Then he comes to the conclusion that the only way to take control back is by killing his stepfather. I won't give away the outcome but you can be sure to expect a fiery climax.

Rivals is all over the place. Based on the title and knowing relatively nothing about it, I assumed it was a typical child vs. step-parent movie only perhaps a bit more lurid. I should have known better with Scott Jacoby's involvement. In fact now that I've seen it, "Rivals" is kind of a misleading title. Robert Klein's character is pretty laid back, so there isn't a whole lot of rivalry going on. The mother is constantly molly coddling her pre-pubescent son, and she really doesn't know what to do with him when he acts out. It doesn't bother Peter until she hastily cancels vacation plans without talking it over because of some school problems Jamie's having. The stepfather is treated like the child with no say-so while Mother and Son have their own personal and awkward quality time. Peter exhibits an amplitude of patience with both character's adjustment and receives nothing in return. Christine is too fixated on her son's immediate well being to see the big picture. Jamie however, being one hell of a smart kid, had complete insight into what was happening. Unfortunately his Mother unintentionally continued to cater to her son's warped frame of mind which didn't do anyone any favors.

There were a lot of interesting editing and musical choices. Many scenes reminded me of old episodes of Sesame Street. Montages of people, particularly kids, playing and goofing around in New York set to very jovial and jazzy children's music. Then for Jamie's flashbacks or dreams the editing would get choppy and the audio was a collection of experimental music and sound clips from his distorted memories.

 Although there was much subject matter I found disturbing in this film (kids and sexuality can make for an uncomfortable viewing experience), it was also immensely fascinating. Like watching a Norman Bates in the making, or Bad Ronald for that matter. I can also see why this movie has faded into obscurity. It's very eccentric and perhaps a little uneven. It never quite found it's audience, not even it's cult audience as it would seem. It definitely deserves a closer look. A few years ago Code Red gave it a nice release. So if you're interested, pick up a copy and give it a spin. I think it's time for Rivals' revival.

Hookers, Homos, Rapists, Supervans and Gary Busey.

I've really let this blog go to slacksville in the past month or so. I have a pretty good excuse this time though! My mom flew in from Florida for vacation. I spent a good week domesticating this place before her arrival and obviously didn't get around to watching many movies while she was here. She left over two weeks ago but since I had taken several days off too, I experienced a little bit of post vacation shock. Have you ever had  that? It's the like the first week of school, you can't really find your groove because you got used to not having any responsibilities. Anyway, I've been trying to take it easy and in turn have watched many movies, several of which I'm going to touch upon bulk review style.

I'll try to do this chronologically. While my Mom was in town she wanted to hit up as many thrift stores and yard sales as we could so she could hunt for treasures to sell in her vintage Etsy store. This worked out well for me when we hit the jackpot at an Echo Park yard sale in the VHS department. Stacks of b-movies spanning from the 60's-80's! After Mom's departure I partook in some much overdue Hookersploitation with the 1984 film Angel.

 I'd been wanting to see this for years. I know it's available on DVD now, but it's so apart of my forbidden video memories that such an upgrade seems unorthodox. I'm used to seeing it staring back at me while browsing for video nasties when I was a kid. I was scandalized and hypnotized by the cover and could only imagine the sleaziness to behold. So finally, I sit down to watch it, and it's NOTHING like I expected. It's not sleazy, it's kind of pathetic. She doesn't really want to be a hooker, she's more of a victim of circumstances. It plays out a lot like an afterschool special, thankfully, there is a serial killer. You know the type, He butchers street walkers for kicks. He helps move this emotionally wrought story along, giving it more of a punch. Despite my love for a good movie killer, the best performance in the film is BY FAR Dick Shawn who plays Angel's drag queen friend and fellow floozy. Dick Shawn has a way of stealing the show in all of the movies he's made an appearance in, Angel is no different. His best scenes are those shared with Angel's "Jew-Dyke" land lady, played by the fantastic Susan Tyrell! Just as bat shit crazy as you'd expect from Queen Doris. All in all, Angel was a little more heavy handed than I would have liked. They make it seem like whoring your body out is a bad thing. Pfft. Not in a low budget 80's movie, my friends.

A little later that week I watched the Stanley Kramer classic, the Defiant Ones, starring Sidney Poitier and Tony Curtis as members of a chain gang. The paddy wagon they're being transported on wrecks creating a perfect oportunity to make a run for it. Completely at odds and bound by chains, they're constantly at eachother's throats. This is the late 50's (and a Poitier movie no less) so you can be sure there's lots of racial tension. In fact, "tension" is probably an understatement. Despite social taboos, they're both criminals and have to work together if they have any chance at freedom.

A wonderful premise for the times although the end confused me a little bit. SPOILER ALERT... Because of injuries Tony Curtis sustains he is unable to hop the train they're supposed to escape by, so what does Poitier do? Jumps off to stay with his friend. I understand that by this point in the film they've accepted one another and have even made a few sacrifices to keep each other alive but this seemed a little absurd to me. I loved the movie so much but the end, however so charming, left me scratching my head a little. It didn't quite add up. So I do a little research to discover that apparently there's this WHOLE homosexual sub-text that I didn't even pick up on. During that time of course gay relationships were terribley watered down in Hollywood films, so it's not unreasonable that this could be overlooked. It makes complete sense in retrospect. There's a lot of cuddling and a general disinterest in women. Sure, Poitier had a wife, but really what does that matter? Especially back then when most homosexuals found wives despite their sexual preference due to social obligations. Curtis, who had quite the reputation in real life, comes close to using an older marm-ish woman as an escape plan but eventually realizes he's better off with Poitier. The scene where he's rinsing his buff body in front of her is almost taunting. Both men are at their sexiest in the Defiant Ones and when they're at odds you can almost feel the flames through the screen. This is all muddled down with obvious racism, which was much more of a commercialized form of biggotry. Interacial homosexuality? Un-fucking-heard of. With lines like "You're married to me alright, and here's the ring!" *rattles chain*, there's an undeniable message. I don't mean to say this is all physical, but now that I've given this some serious thought there's definitely a strong emotional bond between them by the end of the movie that inevitably dictates their fate as a team.

aw, kinda sweet :-)


I finally got around to seeing the 2004 Belgian horror movie Calvaire. Meh. all it really accomplished was reminding me why I don't usually make time for modern horror. Very slow to start, keeping your interest only by making you wonder where the hell they're going with this. The end result was a no frills torture porn that tries to immitate the most harrowing aspects of films like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Deliverance, with of course none of the artistry or ingenuity.

It's dismal, ugly and not in the least bit scary. The borderline illusive narrative that lingers in this film dissipates after it's realized that everyone is just fuckin' insane. Lots of rapey-ness too. Ohhh, how they rape. Butt raping, pig raping, suggestive cow and dog raping. The gratuitous sex crimes wore on me, especially the manner in which it's presented. Calling the male victim a bitch, beating him bloody, shaving his head, crucifying him, et-fucking-cetera. It's all about humility and shock. I've seen these kinds of images before in film and it got me thinking about rape as a plot device in horror movies. When I was younger I had more of a unphasable curiosity about such visions of suffering. I could definitely attest to my skin being much thicker in my late teens. Now when see these visuals I feel a combination of boredom and revulsion. I need more than just grotesque imagery to appease my horror fandom. I do enjoy storytelling, character development and a little bit of finesse. This isn't about budget, lord knows I've fallen in love with many 'a zero budget movie. This is about content. Calvaire is completely insubstantial and is a good representation of what I don't like about most modern horror. To my personal taste suspense is what controls the terror I might feel watching a horror movie. This trendy international lackluster snuff fad is hopefully a passing one. Perhaps it satisfies other cinepheliacs blood lust but as for me I'll stick to my regularly scheduled programming of films forgotten by time.

After Calvaire I needed something drastically uplifting to wash the taste of dried blood and asshole out of my mouth, so I went with the most redorkulous movie in reaching distance, Supervan! It's a title I've come across many times in my b-movie wanderings but when I saw the cover at Amoeba a few weeks ago it hit me in a different way. I took time to study the creation itself. It's beautiful physique. It may just be the most amazing  vehicle I've ever seen. I decided I was in love with it and that I had to leave my husband and cats and marry it. Yes, that's the power of Supervan. So I purchased it on the spot and as fate would have it a few days later a shitty torture porn movie would put me in a bad mood and my soul mate, Supervan, would be waiting on the shelf to comfort me in my time of need.

The story follows a guy who's going to enter his souped up van in a contest called "the Van Freakout of 1976", which is basically a love-in with  cool vans and a brief cameo by Charles Bukowski as a wet t-shirt contest judge. While saving a young woman from being raped by bikers, his van gets trashed in a junkyard. Thankfully he has a scientist/inventor friend who's created the Supervan! It "takes on all comers...laser blasting...solar powered...WATCH OUT!". The plot's a little runny, I found myself not really interested in the characters. It's obviously rip-off of Smokey and the Bandit only with vans and no Jerry Reed (which I tend to think helps most movies). Nothing else really matters in this movie except the Supervan. That's the real star here. I'm fascinated with the whole Van culture of the 70's. I've never been into cars at all and (normal) vans always seemed kind of lame. With movies like this, and of course The Van, not to mention a random plethora of 70's drive-in classics that feature tricked out vans I'm starting to see the appeal. At the end of the movie we're treated to a showcase of all the cool airbushed and muraled artwork on the vans from the contest, but you can be sure nothing can top the chic sci-fi wonder-mobile that is Supervan.

Supervan with it's real life inventor George Barris

I know what you're thinking "but Scumbalina, why haven't you been watching any Gary Busey movies?". Never you worry my dears, I saved the best for last. The 1988 action packed classssssssssic Bulletproof.

He may be Bulletproof, but he's not love proof. Busey plays Frank McBain, a tough cop who earned his nickname from having taken 50-something shots in his career. He even keeps the bullets as souvenirs. He's given a top secret assignment to rescue a Supertank (litterally, the tank version of Supervan, this cinematic synchronicity is nothing short of kismet). It's SUPER spectacular, indestructible, impenetrable and infinitely unfuckwithable. An added bonus is that his militant GI Jane ex-girlfriend has been abducted by the terrorist bad dudes as well. Henry Silva leads this incendiary mission of world domination via Supertank high jackery. He plays a stereotypical bad-guy Muslim who unrelentingly rapes insubordinant women in the name of Allah. We get to see Gary Busey coming out ahead in all kinds of situations despite his general ineptitude. In all of his radiant awkwardness we get to see him crotch dive onto Danny Trejo from a rafter and also spinning down a hill on what appears to be an oversized cable roller. If you're not convinced that this is one of the 80's best accomplishments then you just need to get your priorities straight, Butthorn.

On that note, I'm spent. That was a mouth, er...handful, eh, butthorn-ful. I'm going to go dream of Supervan and Busey-isms. Stay cool.

Scum of the Earth (1963)

Herschell Gordon Lewis has been a favorite director of mine for years. His movies (and maybe Basket Case as well) are single handedly responsible for introducing me to Something Weird Video when I was in my teens. Naturally, a few would slip through the cracks. I focussed on his gore movies almost completely over looking his other facets of exploitation. Scum of the Earth was a title noticed, but with so much schlock to go through it remained just another notch on my massive to-see list. I hadn't even realized that it's known for the most infamous speech in the entire Something Weird catalog.







For a movie that at first glance could appear to be just another trashy exploitation flick, it's surprisingly tasteful. Like an artfully executed after school special. A talented smut photographer, Harmon Johnson played by William Kerwin, and an ex-model played by Sandra Sinclair are stuck in an illegal pornography ring. Sandy wants out and the boss has promised this to her if she can produce a new model. The target: a young college bound girl. She needs tuition money and they tell her she'll just be modeling shoes and bathing suits. It starts well, she's happy with her new job and fast cash. Harmon earns her trust and they develop a friendship. The boss, Mr. Lang played by Lawrence J. Aberwood is a serious cigar chomping asshole. He's got sleaze written all over him. There's also a few lackies named Ajax and Larry. Ajax is a hulking buffoon who likes to play rough with the models. Larry is played by Mal Arnold, infamous for portraying the wild eyed, Ishtar worshiping  Egyptian feast making Fuad Ramses in Herschell Gordon Lewis' legendary Blood Feast. I can't even express how excited I was to see him in another roll. Hilariously, his character constantly reminds us that he's a minor, when he's obviously at at least thirty. Adding even more irony is that he plays an old man in Blood Feast which was made the same year. It's this kind of campy foul play that has made me a fan of anything with H.G. Lewis' name on it. Mal Arnold isn't the only Lewis/Friedman alumni. William Kerwin is also a major player in Blood Feast, A Taste of Blood, Two Thousand Maniacs, Suburban Roulette, the Adventures of Lucky Pierre and Bell, Bare and Beautiful. I always enjoy seeing him as the ideal straight man. That's what I love about Scum of the Earth, we get to see him break away from that and play a sleaze for a change, and I might add he never looked better. White hair on the sides and a five o'clock shadow. I barely recognized him with all that sexiness going on.

Although Scum of the Earth is considered a roughie, it's quite tame. As I mentioned there's almost no nudity, just silhouettes and a few I-think-I-just-saw-a-nipple moments. Unlike most roughies, this film has a happy ending! So you can look forward to not needing a shower afterwards. Based on Lawrence J. Aberwood's notorious "You're Damaged Merchandise, and this is a Fire Sale" speech, you would expect a lot more trashy happenings. In the end we're left with what could be considered an exceptionally well made public service announcement on the dangers of pornographers. Which I believe is a wink at the audience since that's what H.G. Lewis and even more so David F. Friedman are famous for. They turned themselves into overly caricaturized villains for this movie.

This has become an instant favorite of mine. It may be a little too modest for some exploitation fans, but for me Mr. Aberwood's venomous sermon on why Little Miss Muffet is dirty deep down inside, do you hear me? Dirty! I think his vileness makes up for the lack of vulgarity from the other characters. On that note, I'll leave you with something you've probably seen hundreds of times...

Stay tuned for my third review in the David F. Friedman retrospective, She Freak. Until then I bid you adieu...

the Video 98 Collection part 8: Lola (1969)

I went into this this movie expecting something really pervy and salacious. It struck me as being a comical spin on Lolita, which isn't completely off, but not exactly accurate either. Charles Bronson plays Scott Wardman, a pornographic American novelist living in London. He's having a rather juvenile relationship with a barely 16 year old girl, Lola, played by a young Susan George (Straw Dogs, and a great episode of the Persuaders, "the Gold Napoleon"). Lola's parents find out about their affair because she stupidly writes about it in her diary and leaves it around the house for her mother (Honor Blackman) to discover.

Which is Unlikely Scenario # 1, What kind of teenage girl documents her sexual escapades? Let alone her ILLEGAL ones.

Her parents are of course outraged and threatening him with legal action. As Lola tells him this he responds like your typical self centered middle aged bachelor who should have known better. He blames her and takes no responsibility for his actions. Despite his selfish lust that he's mistaken for love, men like this don't seem to realise the mental and emotional damage they could cause a young girl by allowing themselves to lose their wits when encountering a pretty face and body that's off limits.  Or maybe they just don't care? In this case I think I'm taking it a little seriously. This movie makes light of a taboo and I guess that's the point. Amidst all of this, his visa expires and he's soon to be deported back to America. So what do they do?

Unlikely Scenario #2, they decide to get married. She suggests it and pouts when he brushes it off as maybe not the smartest idea. So like a father and a spoiled child, she gets her way. They decide to move back to America where his family and publisher are. He doesn't bother telling his parents so as soon as they arrive, the Mother and Father are greeted by a mini-skirt clad child bride, making this Unlikely Scenario # 3. They decide to stay with his parents for a while, sleeping on the living room floor outside the shared bathroom. Bronson gets arrested for punching a cop (of all things to get arrested for in this movie). During this time, Lola decide she can't take living with his mother anymore and goes out to find an apartment of their own. When his publisher tells him, he's actually proud of her because she wasn't willing to stick around to listen to his mother cry. Sounds to me like his mother has a lot to cry about.

When he gets out of jail and heads for his new apartment, she's not only having a loud party, but she hasn't even informed the doorman that she has a husband. When he insists the doorman call up and ask her, distracted and being a general retard, she says no! Possibly, Unlikely Scenario # 4, but at this point I've lost track. The whole movie is an Unlikely Scenario.

It was hard not hating this girl. She was completely annoying and acted more like a 10 year old than a 16 year old. Playing with dolls and flopping around like a giant long legged kid. Then again, I remember being 16 and naive, thinking I was "in love" with dorks and losers I should have never dated in the first place. That's kind of apart of being 16. He , being the ADULT, should have known better. He should have had the foresight to see that this was a big mistake. If he really loved her he wouldn't want to ruin her life by making her try too grow up so fast. Their relationship was doomed to fail from the beginning, only a fool or a teenager (same thing) couldn't see that. Annoying or not, the whole situation was his fault and I'm glad she irritated the shit out of him.

If anything this movie is a PSA for why NOT to do this! This was Richard Donnor's second movie, after Salt and Pepper. He would of course go on to make the Omen, Superman 1&2, the Goonies, and Ladyhawke. I also discovered that he directed one of my all time afterschool specials, Sarah T. - Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic starring Linda Blair. Lola (aka Twinky, and my favorite alternate title "the Statutory Affair") isn't a complete misfire but it is lagging in believability. It had some humorous moments and some of the cuts were interesting, but for the most part you're wondering where the hell they're going with this. You're waiting for the proverbial train to wreck. And so it does, and it's still not completely satisfying. It's not amongst any of the actors' or director's best work, but it's worth a look for curiosity's sake. It's mockable and I can dig that.

Trade List

Here's my list of movies for trade. I figured I might as well go ahead and post it here for anyone who might be interested in doing a swap. I also sell some of them for a living (can't technically sell the ones that are in print). Check out my Ioffer shop to see what's listed as of now.  I'll update this list and link back to it periodically. Also, as I write reviews for some of these movies I'll try and link those too.

Fell free to leave comments with questions or email me at Papermothra@yahoo.com

Clicky Von Linky...

Delinquent Escort Child aka "You Can't Tell Me Anything!"

This week for Propaganda month I watched a few trashy sex "dramas", starting with the JD Classic "Delinquent Daughters". This being one of my personal favorite sub-genre's of exploitation I was excited to see this 1944 low budget pooper. It starts out with a bunch of cops investigating the suicide of a local teenage girl at her high school, there's a "bad girl" (there always has to be one) named Sally (played by Teala Loring, a pretty Rita Hayworth-ish actress who like so many others was doomed to play bit roles in movies like this and "Return of the Ape Man", she was also uncredited as a telephone operator in "Double Indemnity") who convinces her girl friend's to act "casual" by actually seeming overly guilty for some reason. As it turns out, the last place the girl was seen was the local teen hang out, which is really a cover for all kinds of illegal activities, run by a typical movie jerk/villain type named Nick Gordon (played by Jon Dawson who was also in...nothing worth mentioning) who made a career out of getting teenagers to carry out his various crimes. The movie started out pretty interesting, they're hangout spot was neat and I love seeing teenagers in the past, or at least Hollywood's perception of teenagers. The story starts to lose you somewhere around the middle when there's about 20 minutes of exposition filmed outside with literally NO LIGHTING, you're looking at blackness and listening to pointless dialogue. After that you get to see the local judge reprimand all of the teenager's parents for not taking responsibility for their kids. The highlight of the film is when our female protagonist June (who's quite boring unmemorable as a character and an actress) comes home late to find her comically angry/abusive father waiting up for her "what a nice daughter you've turned out to be!" *slaps her in the face* "but daddy let me explain!" "you can't explain", "but daddy let me tell you" "you can't tell me anything" HA! The classic words of a shitty parent in a 1940's juvenile delinquency film. Another interesting piece of trivia is that Teala Loring recently (within the past few years) died in a car accident, which her character did in the movie, OOPS...gave away the ending. Who cares?



The second bill on the triple feature is the long forgotten "Escort Girl". The story of a woman trying to hide the fact that she runs an escort service from her bratty, ungrateful daughter who just happens to be engaged to the undercover lawyer who's investigating the underground bureau. This movie is fairly decent despite it's only big flaw, that being how terribly choppy it is. Not sure if it was a damaged print or if it was cut for time, but the film cuts scenes sometimes right in the middle of crucial dialogue. It can be very frustrating as I was actually interested in the plot! The highlight of the movie is the pointless strip tease in the middle of the film, totally caught me off guard! Seeing the hookers have girl talk in their dressing room seemed more cute than sleazy, but of course, they're actresses, not real prostitutes. I wasn't satisfied with the ending, and thought it was very shitty that the daughter was so insensitive to her hard working mother's situation, but whatever. It's just a movie, a pretty bad one too. With propaganda such as this, good and bad are in as high a contrast as the resolution of the shitty print.




The final film in the triple feature was the sleaziest and most enjoyable. "Child Bride" from 1938 starring... who cares? What makes exploitation movies of this caliber so much fun is that we can usually relate in some way. Maybe not to the later exploitation films of the 70's where actors like Rudy Ray Moore takes on three rednecks then tumbles from a cliff buck naked. These early propaganda movies usually dealing with marijuana, alcohol, sex, teenage rebellion. These things are fairly typical in movies and our own experiences in general, making these films laughable. The thought of applying them to your own life is even more laughable. Child Bride stands apart from this. Both offensive, tacky and bizarre, it's hard to believe there was a time that marrying children was acceptable. Of course it was never women marrying boys, just creepy old honkies lusting after 10, 11, 12 year old girls. The creep in this movie is especially villainous, he kills the girl's father and blackmail's the mother (threatening to frame her for the murder) so he can have her nubile daughter for keeps. Had the movie not been so over the top, it may have actually disturbed me. Not to be so naive as to think this kind of thing didn't go on (well into the 50's and 60's even *ahem* Jerry Lee Lewis), but thinking of it in terms as a serious social issue is what's really disturbing. Which made it all the more entertaining! I give it my utmost recommendation, if you're into that sort of thing. "That sort of thing" being creepy, tasteless, out-dated garbage!